[edition .12] Wedding planning advice: enjoy the process

By Matthew Shaw, Founder and Creative Director

I always encourage couples not to fall into the traps of ‘wedmin’. It should not take over your life and it’s so important to enjoy the planning process.

For most couples, their wedding will be one of the biggest projects they’ve taken on in their lives to date. There is undoubtedly a vast amount of work involved. Often there are lots of outside opinions and input, whether requested or not!

My first piece of wedding planning advice is to give yourselves time to enjoy being engaged. The last thing you want is to arrive at your wedding day tired, overwhelmed and ready to be done with it.

There is a tendency to jump straight into wedding planning but, trust me, it can wait. When you’re ready to begin, you will want to make sure you have a clear process laid out and understand what’s involved. It’s important to have a loose vision of the wedding you want to create before you start putting plans in place.

Ask for help

I would always advise considering whether you would like to engage a wedding planner at the beginning of the process. They are true experts in their field and will help organise, inspire and de-stress the process for you. If you were spending the equivalent budget on another life event, like a home renovation, you would likely be seeking professional advice. The same goes for wedding planning.

As well as supporting with the general planning and logistics, a wedding planner will help you develop your ideas and has the experience to ensure these can be realised. Beyond the catering, design and entertainment, there are also the often forgotten and less sexy elements of planning. Think toilets, rubbish, power… Wedding planners have seen it all before and will ensure these are accounted for from the start, instead of becoming unwelcome surprises later on.

Timings, timings, timings

Having a wedding planning timeline is a vital tool in your arsenal. Before you get stuck in, you should map out your planning process and work out what you do (and don’t!) need to do each month.

There is a tendency for people to panic and try to get everything confirmed and ticked off as quickly as possible. This is incredibly stressful and can lead you to question your decisions further down the line. It’s a process that you can work through and adjust as you go.

You’ll want to get your venue secured early on. This way you have what you need to invite your guests. I suggest researching your photographer early on too, as they get booked up. Then you can take a break and work out your next steps.

Share the load

Alongside this, you should work out who is going to look after different bits of the planning. There is a tendency for wedding planning to be quite one-sided, but it should be a joint project!

In a similar vein, think about some boundaries around wedding planning so it doesn’t slowly creep in and take over everything. You will know what suits you both best but, just like your wedding timeline, it is very helpful to know when you do, and don’t, need to discuss your wedding.

Do the maths

Budgets are often everyone’s downfall. It’s always wise to get the money discussions out of the way at the beginning. If you will be getting support from parents on either side, work that out early on. Also, set boundaries about what that might mean for input in the planning!

Before you start confirming suppliers, put together a clear wedding budget showing what you are allocating to each area. It is so important to avoid a scenario where you have confirmed a supplier who is beyond your means and have to unravel this further down the line or make concessions elsewhere. You can then collect your quotes, compare them with your budget and adjust as necessary.

There will be elements you have forgotten, or were not aware of, so this is a vital exercise. You should always, always, have a contingency in your budget for unknown and surprise costs that appear (they always will). This will help cushion the impact and keep costs in line.

If you are working with a planner, trust their advice! They will know where you can make savings and where you should be spending. My rule is to always allow for great catering and a brilliant photographer.

Ensuring your guests are well fed and watered is key to the success of any event. You only have one chance to capture the day and those images will be with you forever, so it is absolutely worth the investment.

Planning is key

As you start to confirm details, start writing your wedding day schedule. The schedule will become the bible. It is where you keep all the information about which suppliers arrive when, who is doing what and when things need to be done by.

This will help ease the worries of having lots of quotes and confirmations flying around and not knowing what to do next. As soon as something is confirmed, put it on the schedule.

A big pitfall of event planning is staff or suppliers not knowing when they need to be ready. Having everything in one place and ensuring everyone has digested this information is key. You should also use your schedule to assign roles on the day. You simply cannot do everything yourself.

Make sure that you are going to enjoy your wedding day instead of worrying if the DJ has arrived. If you do not have a wedding planner, use your schedule to carve up responsibilities across your wedding party, family or friends.

Finally, remember to take a moment to enjoy your evening and look out over all your friends and loved ones who are there to celebrate you. Weddings go by in a flash, so make sure you soak it all up before it’s just a memory! My goal, as a wedding planner, is to ensure that our couples can really make the most of their day and enjoy it.

Matthew